


You're Beautiful

by nico_neo



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: A bit of angst maybe... idk, And Renjun is Jeno's best friend, But they all end up friends anyway, Donghyuck is Jaemin's best friend, FTM Jaemin, Fluff, Jaemin is insecure, Jeno and Jaemin are both whipped for each other, Jeno's the softest bean, M/M, but mostly Jeno being the supportive boyfriend he is, i cried
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 06:06:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14928614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nico_neo/pseuds/nico_neo
Summary: Jeno had always knew Jaemin was hiding something behind his smiles.





	You're Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> So... This one is a little more personnal that what I've written before 
> 
> It's finished since a few days but today's Trans Boy Pride day so i wanted to post it today uwu
> 
>  
> 
> As always, English's not my native language so don't hesitate to point out any grammar/language mistake ~

Jeno and Jaemin met during their first high school year. They ended up in the same class, but they never really talked at first. Jeno had his best friend Renjun and Jaemin had his best friend, Donghyuck. It’s only when Jeno and Jaemin had been paired up for a group homework that they started to talk. At first, it was only for their homework, but as time passed, they got to know each other and soon became friends. Jeno introduced him to Renjun and Jaemin introduced him to Donghyuck, and the four befriended fast enough to become inseparable.

Jeno would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy Jaemin’s company. Whenever he had the occasion, he will be clingy to the brown-haired boy, resting an arm on his shoulders or wrapping them around his waist. Whenever the other smiled at him, his heart would miss a beat and his stomach would flip.

To make this short, Lee Jeno was fond of Na Jaemin.

They finally dated when they entered their second-high school year, Renjun and Donghyuck tired of waiting for them to declare their feelings to each other had locked them in their room and unlocked the door an hour later.

 

Jeno had always knew Jaemin was hiding something behind his smiles. He didn’t know what at first and didn’t want to push the younger to tell him. So, he just waited for Jaemin to tell him.

And he did.

And Jeno remembered he almost lost Jaemin that day because of his lack of response.

 

They went out of school and headed to the café near it for what they called an “after-school date”. It wasn’t anything fancy, they would just drink and eat something, sometimes helping each other with homework until they had to go back home.

But today wasn’t like usual.

Jaemin wasn’t smiling, and his hands which was in Jeno’s was sweating. The boy kept on biting on his lower lip and Jeno shot him a worried glance.

“Nana.” He called him softly. “You okay?”

Jaemin didn’t respond at first but after a few seconds, he lifted his head to meet Jeno’s worried eyes, and smiled. But it was a tiny smile.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a bit tired, don’t worry.” Jaemin assured him and squeezed his hand.

“You want to go back? It’s okay if-“

“No.” Jaemin interrupted. “No, I want to spend time with you. And…” Jaemin bite his bottom lip again and looked down. “I have something to tell you.”

Jeno looked at him confused but nodded and squeezed his hand.

“Okay.” He whispered.

When they entered the café, Jaemin went to choose their seat while Jeno went to order. He came back a few minutes later with their drinks and food and placed it on the table Jaemin had choose. Jaemin smiled a bit when he seated in front of him and took his drink with a shaking hand. Jeno furrowed his eyebrows.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

Jaemin wasn’t looking a him but Jeno saw how his body had tensed. His heart was clenching in his ribcage. He took the younger’s hand in his own and began to stroke his knuckles with his thumb.

“You know you can talk to me Jaemin.” He said. “Is it about what you have to tell me?” When Jaemin nodded, he squeezed his hand. “What is it?”

Jaemin took a shaky breath and finally looked at Jeno’s eyes. “You won’t see me the same ever again. You’ll hate me. I didn’t want to tell you at first but… I just can’t… You have the right to know. Only Donghyuck knew until now.”

Jeno simply stroked Jaemin’s hand, hoping to soothe him. He was listening.

“You’ve always treated me… Right. Because it’s how I introduced myself to you but…” Jaemin could feel that his eyes were filling with tears and that were going to fall soon. He didn’t want to cry right now. But he couldn’t help. He was afraid. Afraid of losing the boy in front of him once the truth would be revealed. “In the eyes of the law… I’m not who I am.”

“What do you mean you’re not who you are? You’re Jaemin.” Jeno was confused.

Jaemin slightly shook his head, a few tears escaping his eyes. “No, I’m not… Not yet.” When he saw that Jeno didn’t understand what he meant, he added. “I’m not a cis male, Jeno. I’m transgender.”

When he looked up at his boyfriend eyes, Jaemin saw that Jeno’s mouth was slightly open and his grip on his hand had loosened a bit. The older wasn’t saying anything.

Jeno regained consciousness when he heard Jaemin’s chair squeal and that his boyfriend’s hand wasn’t in his anymore. When he looked up, he saw Jaemin throwing his backpack on his shoulder and muttering a “I’ll go now” before running out of the café.

Jeno stayed still for a few seconds, an amount of thoughts running in his head.

But after realizing that Jaemin had gone, he quickly got up, threw his backpack on his shoulder and ran out of the café. He spotted Jaemin a few meters away and ran and stopped in front of him, panting. He saw that Jaemin’s eyes were red and puffy. Not thinking twice, he cupped Jaemin’s cheeks in his hands and put his lips onto his, in a sloppy kiss. He moved his lips against Jaemin’s and the younger finally respond after a few seconds, lifting a weight from Jeno’s heart. When they pulled back, Jeno made their forehead bump gently and smiled softly at the younger, his eyes turning into crescents moon.

“You don’t hate me?” Jaemin asked as a few tears fell again, but Jeno wiped them with his thumbs.

“Why would I hate you?” Jeno asked in return. “You’re the same as you were twenty minutes ago Jaemin. It’s not because you’re not a cis boy that it’ll erase what I feel for you. I love you for what you’re here.” He placed his right hand on Jaemin’s chest, where his heart was. “I’m glad you told me.” He added.

Jaemin cracked a smile and a laugh escaped his lips, it must be a nervous one, but at least Jeno was hearing this beautiful sound and was seeing this beautiful smile again. The brown-haired boy sniffled and wrapped his arms around Jeno’s waist.

“I was afraid you’ll… go away.” Jaemin admitted.

“Don’t be anymore. I’m not.” Jeno muttered, his nose buried in Jaemin’s hair as the younger was nuzzling his neck.

Now, Jeno understood what was hiding behind Jaemin’s smiles.

Fear.

But he’ll make sure Jaemin wouldn’t be afraid anymore.

“And…” Jaemin whispered after a few seconds. “I love you too.”

Jeno smiled widely and hugged him tighter, never letting him go.

 

Jeno knew that all wasn’t going to be a bed of roses, that Jaemin would have insecurities. Everybody has some. But sometimes, Jaemin’s insecurities hit him like a tidal wave. But Jeno made sure to tell him how beautiful he was.

Some days, Jaemin would wake up and feel down. He would withdraw into himself and won’t talk all day. Going to class would become a burden and Jeno would find him crying.

Today was one of these days.

Jeno saw it on Jaemin’s face when the other got out of the bathroom. He didn’t spoke at Jeno at all and just grabbed an oversized hoodie, which belonged to Jeno, and walked silently to the kitchen of their shared apartment. Jeno’s heart clutched and he stood up from the bed and followed his boyfriend in the kitchen. The younger was making breakfast, but if he was usually all smile while doing it, today there was no sign of smile on Jaemin’s features.

Jeno wrapped his arms around Jaemin’s waist and hold him tightly against him. His forehead was resting against the younger scalp and he was peppering soft kisses on the back of his neck. He could feel his boyfriend’s body shivered so he just tightened his grip.

“I hate it.” Jaemin whispered and he angrily grabbed the counter’s edge, his fingers turning white. “I hate it.”

“You’re beautiful.” Jeno whispered back in his ear. “Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, okay? You’re beautiful. And if people can’t see that, then they’re blind.”

“People don’t see what you see. I don’t see what you see.”

“Then let me show you what I see. Because I only see what a beautiful person you are. Inside and outside. And if anyone dare to say otherwise, send them to me.” Jeno kissed Jaemin’s cheek and rested his chin on his shoulder.

He felt Jaemin leaned back in his touch, relaxed. The younger placed one of his hand on Jeno’s, which were placed on his stomach, and squeezed them.

 

Jaemin didn’t go to class today. When he woke up to find Jaemin curled on himself, his hands around his abdomen, Jeno knew perfectly why. He wanted to skip class and stay with the younger but Jaemin practically threatened to kick his ass if he missed class because of him. And even though Jeno knew Jaemin would never do that, he left their shared apartment with a clenched heart even though Jaemin assured him he was going to be okay.

At lunch break, when Donghyuck and Renjun met him at the cafeteria and didn’t see Jaemin with him, Donghyuck eyed him knowingly.

When class ended, instead of directly walking back home, Jeno stopped at the grocery store to buy a few snacks he was sure Jaemin wouldn’t refuse. After paying, he quickly walked back home.

When he entered their shared apartment, he heard sounds coming from the TV and caught sight of Jaemin laying in the couch. He smiled fondly and directly headed to their kitchen. He came back a few minutes later with a warm mug of tea and the snacks he bought earlier in a plastic bag. When he reached the living room, he saw that Jaemin was watching _Finding Nemo_ and that he was wearing one of his oversized and warm sweater, and Jeno smiled lovingly at the view.

Feeling someone watching him, Jaemin looked up at him.

“You alright?” he asked.

“You’re so cute I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”

Jaemin blushed and hid himself in the cushion pillows. Jeno giggled and put the snack bag on the coffee table and handed the mug to Jaemin.

“Drink this, it will ease your cramps and I can prepare a hot water bottle if you want.”

Jaemin took the mug with a grateful smile and took a sip. Jeno lifted the snack bag in front of Jaemin’s eyes.

“And I bought these.” He added with a smile.

“How did you know?” Jaemin asked.

Jeno watch him with a quirk brow but he had a gentle smile on his face.

“You were frowning and curling on yourself this morning and didn’t go to school. You’re wearing my oversized and warmest hoodie and you’re watching Disney movies to not think about the pain. I know you Nana.” He poked Jaemin’s nose.

Jaemin smiled fondly and put his mug aside. He laid back on the couch and tugged Jeno with him, who settled himself behind Jaemin, wrapping his arms around Jaemin’s waist and sighed contentedly. Jaemin let himself relax in the touch and closed his eyes for a bit but tensed when a wave of pain went through his abdomen.

“Where does it hurt?” Jeno asked.

“Down there.” Jaemin pointed his abdomen. “And a bit up there too…” He pointed to his chest.

Jeno moved his arms so one was at the level of his abdomen, hoping his skin warmth would ease the cramps a bit while the other was wrapped under his armpit and circled him at the level of his chest. Once they settled, he hid his face in the crook of Jaemin’s neck and peppered kisses on the skin. Jaemin grabbed the hand that was resting on his abdomen and intertwined their fingers and curled himself more into Jeno’s warmth.

“I hate this…” He sighed. “It sucks being a boy having his periods.”

“It’ll be over soon.” Jeno said, kissing his cheek.

“When it happens, it only reminds me I’m in a body which is not mine. I just want it to end. What boy have boobs and loose blood every month?”

“Your have your appointment with the endocrinologist in two months. Starting then, it’ll be all over and something better will come.” Jeno whispered in his ear. “And Donghyuck and Renjun will be there all along but most importantly, I’ll be here all along. It’s okay to feel insecure, Jaemin. I’ll be here to remind you how beautiful you are.”

Jaemin was silent for a moment but his fingers squeezed Jeno’s harder. He turned in his boyfriend’s arm to face him.

“I don’t deserve you…” He muttered, playing with Jeno’s hoodie strings.

“It’s me who don’t deserve you.” Jeno giggled and cupped Jaemin’s face in his hands and kissed his forehead. “My beautiful boyfriend.” He cooed.

Jaemin blushed once more and hid his face in the black-haired chest and Jeno only wrapped his arms tighter around Jaemin’s frame, who wrapped his own around Jeno’s waist.

“I love you.” Jaemin muttered, his voice muffled by Jeno’s hoodie.

“I love you too.”

 

Jeno was waiting with Donghyuck and Renjun outside the clinic. They were waiting for Jaemin. The younger was getting his first injection today and they all agreed to go with him. They couldn’t enter with him, but they promised to wait outside.

Jeno was sitting on one of the bench in front of the building and his leg was bouncing nervously.

“Dude, relax.” Donghyuck laughed.

“You looked more stressed out than Jaemin when he entered.” Renjun added with a smirk.

“Shut up.” Jeno groaned but it only made the two laugh harder.

He pouted and shot a look at the entrance of the clinic. Jaemin hadn’t come back yet. Was it normal it’s taking so long? Why is it taking so long?

“I can see your brain’s gearwheels, Jeno.” Renjun slapped him at the back of his head. “He’ll come back soon.”

“It hurts.” Jeno whined, rubbing where Renjun slapped him.

The Chinese boy snorted and let out a “big baby” and rolled his eyes.

“Here he comes!” Donghyuck shouted.

Jeno was on his feet right after, facing the clinic entry where Jaemin was walking towards them, a bright smile on his face. They all looked at him with excited looks. Jaemin giggled a bit and spoke.

“My butt cheek hurts a bit but…” He began but didn’t continue.

“Come on!” Donghyuck whined.

“How do you feel?” Jeno asked him.

Jaemin looked at them turn by turn, his smile never leaving his face and Jeno’s heart skipped several bits.

“It’s the first one so the effects won’t be showing immediately but… I feel great. Like, yeah finally.” Jaemin said but his eyes became teary.

“No crying right now Na Jaemin!” Donghyuck said and pulled the younger in a crushing hug, Renjun joining them a few seconds later. And Jeno could hear the two others murmuring congratulations and encouraging words in Jaemin’s ears.

When they pulled apart, it’s Jeno who pulled Jaemin in a crushing but yet tender hug. Jaemin hugged him as tightly and buried his face in the crook of his neck.

“I’m so proud of you.” Jeno whispered in Jaemin’s ear.

He felt Jaemin hands gripping harder on the back of his jacket and Jeno found himself tearing up a bit. He was so proud of him.

 

Jeno had always knew Jaemin was hiding something behind his smiles.

Fear.

Insecurity.

But now the only thing he could see in Jaemin’s smiles was relief and happiness.

And if fear was hiding behind Jaemin’s smiles again, Jeno would be here to remind him how beautiful he was.

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you're here then you made it, congrats ! And thank you for reading!
> 
> It's different from usual, but i had to write it, in a way
> 
> Happy Pride everyone and remember : You're beautiful
> 
> Any questions -> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/niconeo3)  
> [curiouscat](https://t.co/e1UnChL5kj)


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